Showing posts with label fire-breathing chicken. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fire-breathing chicken. Show all posts

31 July, 2009

Keywords

For the first time in a long time, I looked at the Google Keywords that are leading people to this site. I was very amused. In fact, I'm still amused, and also bewildered. Since this is a happy state of being, I thought it might be polite of me to share it with you.

fire breathing chicken
mass haul optimization algorithm
belgian blues
20 flirty questions for scientists
a scientist and makeup blog
adiponectin the scientist
bass player scientist
bigger cecum
can bacteria grow on oreos
cartoon word
do llamas have breasts?
ear toasters
friends flirting bad side
fucking awesome toasters
guild of mad scientists
hats that a scientist would wear
hungry leptin
igf-1 before after pics
in vitro system to create apoptotic cells
invader zim gir mens sneakers
luciferin problem
mad to breast
moshing as a woman
picture of a mad scientist
pipette tips in nostril funny
read the fucking manual cartoon
silk muscle
tesla jr
there's a llama
vampire ass
was i flirting
weakness of a men to a woman
zombies cooler than vampires
leptin ghrelin adiponectin resistin milk

Of all these terms, it's "there's a llama" that worries me the most. I picture someone nervously googling that term while an angry llama stares inside their bedroom window, chewing oh-so-patiently whilst waiting for the full moon to rise! Because that's what llamas do, right?

Also, I do not recommend ear toasters. Use muffins instead; they are thermally dense and edible!

04 August, 2007

Things I Want to Know

These are the kinds of things that keep me awake at night, pondering and pondering.

1) My parents had a pool installed in the back yard when I was a teenager. Soon after, I found myself wondering how much Jello mix it would take to fill the pool with Jello (answer: about $1,200 worth, given Jello at $0.30/pack). I figured that in the fall, there'd be a day when the temperature would be at around 40 degrees, and the pool had a heater, so I could mix in all the Jello mix as directed. Unfortunately, I was never able to put this experiment into practice, so the question still plaguing me is: If I were to belly-flop in to a pool of Jello, would I a) bounce back, b) land flat, or c) sink into the Jello?
I even tried using physics for this. I mass about 60 kilos (z) and have a ventral surface area of approximately .66 square meters (y). If Jello has a surface resiliency of x, then so long as I zy doesn't exceed xy, I shouldn't sink in. But that still doesn't tell me whether or not I'd bounce or land flat.

2) Do M.D.s actually use the term 'booger', or do they have some kind of complex fancy term for them, like 'congealed mucus globule'? Doctors are strangely unwilling to answer this question when you ask them.

3) If one were in incredibly dire straights, could one survive on pure high fructose corn syrup? Or would its osmolarity spell doom (although neither HFCS nor osmolarity actually spell D-O-O-M or can be reconfigured to say so)?

4) What are the ethics of android sex? I mean, eventually technology is going to produce rather sentient and human-like machineries, so will it be ethical to also give those androids sex drives even though they would, at a nominal assumption, be unable to procreate thereof (that's a whole other issue)? And if so, would they discriminate from one another on a basis of voltage? And, furthermore, would gender differences arise in androids? If so, would they be the result of different programming structures or of socialization?*

5) What if there's another Earth the same size and composition of ours orbiting exactly 6 months ahead/behind us? It'd be always hidden on the other side of the sun so we'd never be able to see it with our telescopes.*

6) What kind of sounds to mitochondria make? Or, for that matter, chloroplasts?

7) Wouldn't it be cool to build a gigantic (e.g., 15m high) mechanical chicken and pilot it to work everyday? And while at it, why not install some fire-breathing apparatus?

8) While I am relieved that terrestrial bacteria are microscopic, I can't help but wonder if, somewhere in the universe, there are massive, planet-sized Ur-bacteria? And wouldn't it be ironic if multicellular organisms lived on or in them?*

9) Would perchloric acid be spicy or sour?*

10) Let's pretend that there's a giant catapult, say, with the fulcrum in Hawaii and the launch arm ending somewhere in California. If one were to get into the basket at the end and launch themselves, would a) they launch themselves into orbit, b) fall off due to inherent structure instabilities that are inescapable at such large scales with present construction technology, or c) be crushed by G-forces and/or fried crispy by friction from air?