02 March, 2010

Bridge Cheese!

In the past couple days, my previous optimisms regarding getting into an awesome PhD program in Immunology with Computational Biology opportunities have turned to a rather danker pessimism. I rarely allow myself to be pessimistic, because when I do I start wanting to do rather illogical things to distract myself from it.

Right now I'm thinking it'd be lovely to move to Norway, somewhere up in Trollheim, and become a goatherder. Goats are nice, they'll eat pretty much anything you throw at them, and they even make milk and cheese (I believe you have to shake them to obtain the latter, though). The primary advantage of doing this in Norway instead of the Ozarks would be that I'd have no neighbors, and those that might be over the next mountain would be far too busy eating fish and enjoying socialized health care and education to care about me genetically engineering the goats.

I'd need 2 phenotypes, 1 with hooky fur and the other with loopy fur, but if I was successful, I'd have VELCRO GOATS!!! Not only could I harvest their wool for useful uses, but they've be velcro uses.

Now, what sort of uses would a velcro goat possibly have, you ask?

Well, for structural elements, of course. Specifically a bridge. A bridge over a fjord. Made out of velco goats. Sure, it'd be a loud bridge with all of the bleating and whatnot, and goats' eyes are damn creepy, but still, it would be a bridge made of goats over a fjord! Not only would it be biodegradable and able to consume the next Trollheimstadt's municipal recycling, but it would output bridge cheese!!!


Like this. Note that goats would be occasionally rotated to ensure an even distribution of goat happiness as I suspect the goats on the bottom of the cantilever are likely to be somewhat less happy and as such may not make quite the same quality of cheese.


quietandsmalladventures said...

i think velcro goats are awesome! but at the same time, i'd council you to think about less than awesome programs doing research you're interested in and also consider that there are great scholars working in not so great universities. please, please don't say that you limited yourself geographically! i have absolutely not doubt whatsoever that you are destined to get a ph.d, if you then decide to become a goatherder than so be it. but i thik you'll always be interested in what's going on in your field of interest.

quietandsmalladventures said...

oh yes and the above comment was not meant to imply that you're not destined to go to an ph.d program but that mostly those programs seem to be shortsighted as to the students they should include.

keely said...

How are you worried about getting into a good program? You're awesome!

DrDudeChick said...


microbiologist xx said...

Totally loving the illustration.
The bridge would be very loud, but at least you would know when you were getting close. :)