Keywords

For the first time in a long time, I looked at the Google Keywords that are leading people to this site. I was very amused. In fact, I'm still amused, and also bewildered. Since this is a happy state of being, I thought it might be polite of me to share it with you.

fire breathing chicken
mass haul optimization algorithm
belgian blues
20 flirty questions for scientists
a scientist and makeup blog
adiponectin the scientist
bass player scientist
bigger cecum
can bacteria grow on oreos
cartoon word
do llamas have breasts?
ear toasters
friends flirting bad side
fucking awesome toasters
guild of mad scientists
hats that a scientist would wear
hungry leptin
igf-1 before after pics
in vitro system to create apoptotic cells
invader zim gir mens sneakers
luciferin problem
mad to breast
moshing as a woman
picture of a mad scientist
pipette tips in nostril funny
read the fucking manual cartoon
silk muscle
tesla jr
there's a llama
vampire ass
was i flirting
weakness of a men to a woman
zombies cooler than vampires
leptin ghrelin adiponectin resistin milk

Of all these terms, it's "there's a llama" that worries me the most. I picture someone nervously googling that term while an angry llama stares inside their bedroom window, chewing oh-so-patiently whilst waiting for the full moon to rise! Because that's what llamas do, right?

Also, I do not recommend ear toasters. Use muffins instead; they are thermally dense and edible!

More Percolationy Mind Blather

1) I find myself increasingly tempted to place bumper stickers reading "CAREFUL: MORON DRIVING!" on large SUVs parked in 2 or more spots in parking lots. If you can't competently handle your vehicle, you shouldn't be driving it.

2) I am coming to peace with the joggers on my walking route home. Or maybe they've learned and have been running more heavily so that I hear them over traffic. I still, however, favor mandatory jingly bells.

3) I wonder if I should actually start dressing like a tech. Most of the other techs wear jeans and T-shirts. I wear Dickies pants, a dress shirt tucked in, a belt, and Converse sneakers. I recently found out that many people in the department thought I was a post-doc. I hadn't thought I'd yet acquired that stench of quiet desperation and soullessness.

4) Something that smells worse than 2-betamercapthenol actually exists. A 3-day old plate of Bacteroides thetaiotaomicron smells absolutely terrible, the kind of reek that makes you want to scrub your eyeballs out with lye and burn your clothes. Also, my boss doesn't seem to even so much as notice the smell.

5) Today I had sprayed down a bench with 70% ethanol and had an open flame nearby. The undergrad asked why I didn't just set it on fire. Naturally, I thought to myself, "Why don't I just set it on fire?" So I did*. Pretty blue flames!

6) At what level of autonomy do robots ascend to androids?

7) My dog has a visceral and deep-rooted hatred of the vacuum cleaner, to the point where she will literally try to attack it. She is in battle mode as soon as it comes out of the pantry, and she doesn't understand why when I'm trying to get her to let go of the hose. Maybe she and the vacuum cleaner could become friends if I rubbed bacon on it?

8) I've been increasingly tempted to drink more often so that I can force myself to fall asleep earlier, because otherwise sleep doesn't ever really seem to kick in until ~2am. This becomes a problem when I've got morning experiments scheduled.

9) I am deeply appalled by the horrific quality of childrens' science programming on TV. Johnny Test and Grossology, with some rare re-runs of Jimmy Neutron, are all that's out there. I mean, Discovery Kids also has Boneheads about paleontologists, but that just seems far too narrow. I've made claims along these lines before, but I have been paying closer attention to the programming schedule since. I've yet to find any refuting evidence.

10) I should really stop bobbing my head to the music while riding the bus. The busses here don't play music and I don't use headphones/earbuds.

11) I tried counting out a kilometer the other day recently, just to see, but quickly found out that my attention span is only 0.5km long. At least I got halfway there. It should be noted, however, that this was done mostly on campus, so there wasn't much to look at to distract me.

*Not the first time I have done this, nor the largest amount of ethanol, but likely the largest surface area.