Not because its syntax allows for easy eloquence.
Not because it makes sense.
Not because of all of the contradictory pronunciations and bastardy homonyms.
But because it is user-editable. If you need a word, make one up. If you find a word in another language that makes better sense here than a word we've got already, then add it on in. English is like pudding: normally it's gelatinous and silly, but once you add chocolate or something else interesting to it it becomes delicious.
Anyway, today I announce my newest addition to the English language:
BLARF
1) noun; dry vomiting in which one tastes bile at the back of their throat but manages to contain it.
2) noun; a knobby club or cudgel used expressly for hitting douchebags in the gonads.
You're welcome, English language!
(Sometimes I feel it is only a matter of time before the English language disowns me because I keep using words like "happity", "joyness", "beautigent", "intelliful", etc. whenever I get excited and forget that Webster is always watching.)
2 comments:
Oooh, this will be handy for getting legal permission for my cudgel beatdowns:
Hermitage: Hey, would you like to be blarfed?
Douche: Um, sure?
*WHAM*
Teh end.
Just make sure to record audio beforehand as a legal bumflap.
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