10 February, 2009


The English language is occasionally wonderous.

Not because its syntax allows for easy eloquence.

Not because it makes sense.

Not because of all of the contradictory pronunciations and bastardy homonyms.

But because it is user-editable. If you need a word, make one up. If you find a word in another language that makes better sense here than a word we've got already, then add it on in. English is like pudding: normally it's gelatinous and silly, but once you add chocolate or something else interesting to it it becomes delicious.

Anyway, today I announce my newest addition to the English language:

1) noun; dry vomiting in which one tastes bile at the back of their throat but manages to contain it.
2) noun; a knobby club or cudgel used expressly for hitting douchebags in the gonads.

You're welcome, English language!

(Sometimes I feel it is only a matter of time before the English language disowns me because I keep using words like "happity", "joyness", "beautigent", "intelliful", etc. whenever I get excited and forget that Webster is always watching.)


Hermitage said...

Oooh, this will be handy for getting legal permission for my cudgel beatdowns:

Hermitage: Hey, would you like to be blarfed?
Douche: Um, sure?

Teh end.

Toaster Sunshine said...

Just make sure to record audio beforehand as a legal bumflap.