26 February, 2009

Tesla Coils + The First Law of Mad Science

From Biopunk:
And just how small can one get a Tesla coil these days? I will be looking up more for sure, oh great uberlord of the skies...
While appealing to my megalomania is a good way to get my attention, misunderstanding the entire point of having a zeppelin is not a good way to do so. I have a zeppelin, I mean, a motherfucking zeppelin!, and I can guaranfuckingtee you than I am going to have some gianticmothefucking Tesla coils on board.

So you're really going to ask how small can one get a Tesla coil? For real?

Do you not see the title of this blog!?

Why would one even want a small Tesla coil?

This is barely a Tesla coil.

I mean, really? Even when I have explicitly noted below that Tesla is my penultimate scientific role model because he was batshit eccentric (OK, so I'm not really angry about this because I don't expect everything to get read)?

Now this is a motherfucking Tesla coil!

In short, make no mistakes about it: tiny Tesla coils are pointless, and tiny Tesla coils are stupid mad science, even if they are good electrical engineering. Good mad science always makes its machines much bigger and more badass than they strictly need to be, just because it can (this is also the First Law of Mad Science, so learn it well! I will post on the other laws of mad science at some point in the future).

Now, though, since I have just now learned that one can tune a Tesla coil to specific resonant frequencies (how I didn't know this before escapes me), I am going to go incorporate that into my zeppelin's coils.

Meanwhile, please vote on the poll to your left to appease my ego and enjoy the video below (which I post even through The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is currently frustrating me because I finally beat the giganticbastardtentaclefish in an underwater fight and now I find I am stuck playing as a wolf again! Ocarina of Time, though...they'll probably never top that).


Epicanis ( http://www.bigroom.org/wordpress ) said...

I see you are still in the "irrational exuberance" stage of Mad Science™.

What you fail to grasp is that a small Tesla coil is so much easier to smuggle into areas where Tesla coils are otherwise prohibited.

Sure, having a gigantic Tesla coil in your backyard is undeniably pretty cool (even if it's not mounted atop a 10-story-tall Giant Robot), but what is one mere giant Tesla coil compared to the possibility of blanketing the whole world with small Tesla coils which will not be detected before you can throw the switch?

This is one advantage of being into Microbiological Mad Science - I can bring literally billions of my minions with me in bottles of hefeweizen and nobody will know until after they have consumed them...and then it shall be too late as my minions take over their minds and make them my willing slaves! AH, HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Ahem. Excuse me. That's purely a hypothetical example of course. It's okay, I'm fine now.

DuWayne Brayton said...

Fragging microbiologists!!! Always thinking tiny. I wee on your little minions, they could never get past my personal shield!!! If you have to think tiny, build your slaves out of self replicating nanites. Then use other nanites to kill off world leaders and replace them with your nanite constructed slaves.

World domination without anyone being the wiser!!!!

(Just be careful, lest your nanite slaves replace you)

Toaster Sunshine said...

Watch it, DuWayne, I work in microbiology and immunology, although I was trained in molecular biology.

And I do believe that a genetically engineered fungus would be much better suited for infiltration and mind control of your megalomaniac targets, primarily because it is better suited to differentiation from the same progenitors. Sure, it E. coli you can get some bitchin' biofilms, but these are less likely to be functionally differentiated and hence less useful.

And nanites will invariably replace their master, that's why you have to build them with an inherent chemical addiction (e.g., Yellow No. 6, so you replace all Cola drinkers in the world) to keep them from replacing you. Just make sure to buy stock in Pepsi Co. first, you might as well profit if you're going to rule the world.

DuWayne Brayton said...

BAAH!! Your puny organisms are no match for my mind manipulation abilities!! MwahHaHaHAHAHA!!!HAHA!!

Although to be perfectly honest, a zeppelin and giant tesla coils would be a huge bonus in the whole mind control scheme - hmm....