10 May, 2009


Figure A: Up Toaster's nose. I thought about getting some LEDs and shining them out of my nostrils (see post below) to better illustrate my point, but since I'd been awake for 21h at the time and didn't have any batteries small enough immediately enough on hand I figured my judgment may be better when I was better rested. Nonetheless, this pathetic fuzz isn't going to be getting me aboard any technopirate ships anytime soon. At least this particular angle makes my head look less gargantuan.

OK, so this is as far as I got. I know I said below that I was going to try to grow a beard, and that's all I could manage before I got too annoyed by my face continually being itchy. That 5'0'clock shadow was about 7.5d of growth. Now I'm going to see if I can manage sideburns. I'm not entirely clear on why I feel the need to do this, but perhaps I associate inappropriate hair with rocking out and my hair is still too short and doofy to get into a proper Mad Scientist pompadour. But that hasn't stopped me from rocking out although my neighbors might intervene soon, especially if I keep wailing away at bass with the window open.

I apologize for the recent complete lack of science. It's just that every paper I've read recently is just too vague, too rote, or too scattered to research blog. However, this could also be due to reading papers primarily during Happy Hour and washing them down with the darkest, most evil-smelling beer I can find. But this, in turn, has led me to the discovery that not only is gold eyeshadow available, but also that cracker girls are blind/vain/self-delusional enough to wear it. It makes their eyelids look crusty.

I am currently listening to "Happy Fcuking Birthday" by Combichrist and for some odd reason that reminded me that I am trying to decide whether or not to maintain the "Sunshine" part of "Toaster Sunshine" because I took it on in the context of my recently dissolved relationship. My Guitar Hero band's name is "Toaster Doomly", but that doesn't seem right. I do, however, like "Toaster Tron", just because it is a lot of fun to say and because Megatron is a badass. But "bubbles" is also a fun word to say, and that doesn't mean I want to be "Toaster Bubbles". I may retain the original anyway.

Crusty golden eyelids!


Anonymous said...

That's a very handsome beard, Toaster, though I prefer you with longer hair ;O)

Men with long hair + beards = supersexy. I know, cuz I am one.

How to stop beard being itchy? Lots of moisturiser in the early stages, then, when it gets long, wash it in the shower with conditioner. Really works!

Isabel said...

Better w/o the beard (my bias, I hate facial hair even though that seems sexist to say), the hair will grow back wild before you know it.....and I could also do w/o the "cracker" reference. Maybe it's a generational thing, but it's hard not to see as classist or even racist

there you go, sexism, racism and classism in one paragraph.:)

again it wouldn't bother me if other derogatory racial terms were allowed (are there any allowed?)Although I guess 'used as a proud or jocular self-description' could qualify as an exception, but you were actually talking about some girls. How were they crackers?

I LOVED the question in the previous post, but I'm too stressed out for any involved questions right now but I was so intrigued I made a note to myself the next time I'm quiet and relaxed to think about it. I know it is something spacial..."shape of the container" is an interesting question, at first pondering it seems like it's an inner world of some sort, especially memories and the vast unconscious...I'm picturing catacombs....hmmm. But your conscious self can almost be felt as far as your awareness extends. Though my aware, thinking, planning self does seem to reside in my actual head.

Looking forward to your version.

Toaster Sunshine said...

Thank you, tig. I'm not sure I have the patience or physiology to grow a luxurious beard, and I've already found that having very long hair is a major task to upkeep. Until fairly recently I wore my hair halfway down my back, and it was always either pulled back or in braids (usually courtesy of my sister).

And Isabel, I use the word cracker because they were crusty. I also use it in a self-deprecating manner, not as a slur to beat others in the face with. As far as I see it, any group, minority or majority, is more than entitled to claiming ownership of any epithets directed against them. WASPy could be used the same way, as could Gentile.

DuWayne Brayton said...

I've never had a problem with itching when I grow out the facial hair and I have done so countless times since I started growing facial hair...

I rather like Toaster Bubbles myself, but totally understand not wanting to go there. Short of that, you could make Toaster the last name, opening up all sorts of possibilities.

Death Toaster. Flaming Toaster. The Black Toaster. or maybe you could find a kick ass symbol and be the blogger formerly known as Toaster Sunshine...

Isabel said...


In a perfect world of total free speech I would agree with you, but we are in ultra-PC science blogs world, and I think the allowed expressions are worth noting.
(and WASP and gentile were not pejoratives used contemptuously against the POOR specifically- even so I've yet to hear either, or any other racial terms besides those referring to whites). But I take no offense at your use, since I know you come from a proud race of real crackers, who did reclaim the term.

Whenever I hear your name I (vaguely) picture one of those 1950's watercolor childrens book illustrations with the sun streaming in the kitchen window onto the bright, shiny modern appliances. (And the lovely Mom mopping the floor in her high heels and the cute puppy tracking in muddy footprints - oh dear!)

Eppendork said...

My beloved has a beard not unsimilar to your own - I think they are hot - I listened to Poison for the first time in near on 15 years - i love their hair too.

Anonymous said...

Toaster Flames!

Toaster? I don't even know er!

Toaster Roaster. FTW.