05 May, 2009

Moving Forward List of Things to Make Done and Do

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I appreciate it. Toaster is tungsten alloy in more properties than just density. Last night I took me my sledgehammer and hewed away mightily at an undisclosed object (5th Amendment of the U.S.A. Constitution) until the following plan to keep my hands busy and mind occupied had formed.

1) Make food:
  • Bake cookies. Perhaps cayenne pepper, cinnamon, Tobasco, dark chocolate cookies would be tasty. Note: first learn how to bake.
  • Make and consume these.
  • Cook something more than pizza and frozen burritos*.
2) Purchase soldering gun and solder stuff:
  • Take apart defunct laptop, fix, and reassemble.
  • Construct tiny vacuum cleaner to get cookie crumbs and charcoal shavings out of my computer keyboard.
  • Build computer speakers. Not sure whether to use this or that as a chassis.
4) Read more papers.

5) Rock the fuck out:
  • Begin each morning by rocking out.
  • End each night by rocking out.
  • Rock out in the lab.
6) Kick Zant and Bowsers' asses** all over the TV screen and finally beat the games.

7) Grow stuff.
  • Try to grow a beard, just to see if anyone notices***.
  • Grow something edible.
  • Grow my hair back out of this stupid, doofy haircut I mistakenly went and got. With this, I look more like a normal scientist than a Mad Scientist, and this displeases me. To the credit of my scalp, however, it is forming multiple cowlicks despite the shortness.
  • Continue growing muscles to become less scrawny. Having the approximate physique of a stick figure and the disproportionate head of an anime character has lost its novelty.
8) Get business cards.
  • "Toaster Sunshine; (contact info); Lisenced Zombie Hunter; Professional Mad Scientist."
  • Resist urge to get "Pardon me, sir/ma'am (circle one), I couldn't help but notice you're a douchebag" cards and hand them out as needed.
9) Be more social.
  • Force myself out of my lair and interact with humans in their natural habitats.
  • Leave phrenology calipers at home as these will probably not endear me to anyone.
  • Don't talk about Mad Science when first meeting someone to avoid scaring them away.
  • Suppress Mad Scientist Laugh in public.
  • Do not wear top hat to happy hour, as this might be construed as rude.
  • Quantify human body language. May need calipers for this.
  • Drink more? My liver has gotten pathetically complacent.
10) Finish out cartoon commissions.

11) Gather data around hypothesis that "charm" is just "normal social graces" integrated over a power law with range 5 to infinity (Blogger interprets proper mathematical notation as an in-line html style tag).

*The 4 Food Groups of Toaster: frozen burritos, sushi, cookies, and orange juice.
**For non-nerds, that corresponds to Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and Super Mario Galaxy, respectively.
***Last time Toaster tried to grow facial hair no one noticed for weeks, likely because it is blond and therefore only visible in limited lighting contexts.

Also: COOKIE PORN!!!

3 comments:

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

I had a "Barack Obama Cookie" yesterday. It was described as "one smart cookie! Contains a mixture of dark and white chocolate chips, and NO NUTS".

It was disappointingly bland. Try the tobasco.

sarcozona said...

I suggest growing parsley and basil. Both are easy to grow, pretty tough, and delicious in almost everything.

helena.heliotrope said...

Chocolate chip cookies are super-easy to begin with. The best recipe:
http://www.shelterrific.com/2007/09/03/real-life-test-kitchen-chocolate-chip-perfection/
You just chuck all those ingredients in a bowl, and mix it up with your hands. Refrigerate overnight (key!) and bake.
Easy.

Nice blog, by the way. :) Can't say I comprehend any of your science, but...